


Love and Other Lies We Tell Ourselves

by bluegoldrose



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Death, F/M, Gen, Honor, Introspection, Love, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-14 23:35:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2207274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluegoldrose/pseuds/bluegoldrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of short POVs various topics and scenes.</p><p>Partly my way of getting into character's heads better, partly an exploration of how different characters perceive different emotions or events.</p><p>Tags updated with each chapter.</p><p>1- Catelyn<br/>2- No One<br/>3- Jaime<br/>4- Sybell Spicer</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Catelyn: Love

She thinks of love in terms only a young maiden can.  When she thinks of love it is Brandon’s smile.  The way he takes her arm in his as they walk around Riverrun.  The way he plucks a flower from the garden and tucks it behind her ear.  The way he steals a kiss beneath the branches of the willow trees.

Love is a gallant knight winning a tournament for his lady’s favor.  Love is being rescued from towers and being named the most beautiful maiden in the land.  Love is riding through the meadows together on the same mount, holding onto him with all your might.

When Brandon is murdered, Catelyn thinks that she will never know love again.

She does not love Brandon’s brother Eddard.  He is shorter than Brandon.  He never smiles.  She is a dutiful daughter and marries him, but does not think this man will be like his brother.  He will not steal kisses from her.  He will not ride recklessly across the fields with her.

Family, duty, honor, the words of her house.  Love is never a requirement for marriage, just duty and honor.

She learns what love is when her first born son is placed in her arms.  She realizes for the first time in her life that love is the feeling a mother has for her children: protective, nurturing, giving, selfless. She looks at her son and sees his future, he will be the Lord of Winterfell.  He will be a great warrior.  He will marry and have children of his own.  For now, he will be her beautiful boy.

She knows that her heart would break if anything were to happen to this infant, only hours old.  Her heart swells when he cries for her.  She knows that she would die to defend him.

Perhaps, she realizes, it is not the knights who are the true heroes.  Perhaps the heroes are the mothers of the knights who have the strength to let their children go.


	2. No One: Love

Love is a blade in the hand.  The way steel sings through the air and slices into a foe.  The smell of fear and the tang of copper in the air.  That is what no one sees as love.  Love is death’s sweet gift.  Death is a lover’s gift.

No one, a servant of the many faced god, knows that emotions are not allowed in service to the god.  Emotions are a distraction.  Emotions are a hindrance to the work which must be done.  Yet no one thinks that emotion is important.  Emotion is the key to staying alive.

Once, when no one had a name and a face, emotion was survival.  Never fear, fear was weakness.  Hate, when directed, was the cleanest emotion, the most driving.

No one knew that sword fighting was something one did when one had a name and face.  To become no one, all past identity must be lost.  However, it is not all forgotten, just ignored.

No one could remember a mother, a father, a home.  No one could even remember the family animals.  One could even remember the feeling of love towards family, towards friends.  Now they were all dead and gone.  No one had learned to survive.

Now love was a blade in the hand.  Love was death’s embrace.


	3. Jaime: Honor

Family mottos are curious things.  They are supposed to elicit emotion.  "Hear me roar!" That is what the Lannister motto declares.  Jaime's father always lived by those words.  His father holds to those words as a badge of honor.

Ser Jaime Lannister,  the kingslayer, had often found honor to be a strange word.  He joined the kingsguard to be a hero, and to please Cersei.  He swore his oaths, thinking of how wonderful it would be.  He was so wrong.

Is it honorable to stand by your king while he burns men to death? Is it honorable to stand by while your king rapes and beats his queen? Is it honorable to kill your father as the king commands?  Or is it honorable to kill that king when he plans to burn the city to the ground?

Jaime gives up believing in right or wrong.  He gives up believing in honor. He fights for his Cersei and decides that is honor enough.  He comforts her when the new king treats her poorly.  He gives her three children as heirs.

Is it honor to bed a woman you love when she despises her husband? To comfort her and protect her when her husband will not? To kill anyone who would harm her, no matter who?

Jaime sees only her.  He protects only her.  He thinks that loving and protecting her might just be honor enough.


	4. Sybell Spicer: One Choice

Sybell holds her head high when she leaves Riverrun.

Jaime Lannister may have insulted her and mocked her, her daughter may hate her, but they were alive.

Let them mock all they want, Sybell would do it again to save herself and her family.

She would never have allowed her family to fall into ruins.

Sybell could recall, when she was just a girl, the news arriving of the fall of the Reynes and Tarbecks. She would never, could never, forget their fate. She could hear the notes of the song, in which their ruin was forever recalled, the day Robb Stark chose to wed her Jeyne.

Sybell only had one choice.

Robb Stark had only been a young boy. A foolish young boy who had already lost the lands he called his kingdom. A foolish young boy who had lost his heirs. He was dead the moment he chose to wed Jeyne instead of paying restitution for the loss of her virtue. He should have kept his vows to the Freys.

Sybell was only protecting her own.

The screams of the Reynes and Tarbecks echoing through the years made her choice.

Sybell had never borne any hatred toward the Starks or the Tullys. She had never borne any love toward the Lannisters or the Freys. Her choices were made for her family's safety.

She should have realized that her son would not have been safe. The Lannisters always paid their debts. She should have known that Lord Tywin would not have allowed all of her children to escape unscathed.

Jeyne will not meet her eyes anymore.

She does not blame her daughter for her anger. Jeyne will likely always hate her. Sybell will bear that hate gladly, knowing that her daughter will live. Her daughter will grow older, wed, and bear children. House Westerling would not be destroyed.

Some day Jeyne might understand, perhaps if her children go to war.

Some day Jeyne might thank her, though Sybell doubts that very much.

They go west, away from Riverrun, away from the kingdom that could have been Jeyne's.

Her daughter may hate her. Her son may be dead. Westeros may consider her a scheming and underhanded woman. It is the gods who will judge her, and Sybell believes they will be on her side. Sybell only had once choice. 


End file.
